Allowing Weakness
by TutorGirlml
Summary: After Season 3's mostly happy ending, the residents of Storybrooke find themselves living in the Enchanted Forest once more. Emma has allowed Killian into her heart, but she still needs to accept help instead of trying to fight all her battles alone. Circumstances force her to depend on someone else for a change, someone who will never let her down.
1. Chapter 1

_This Captain Swan story was born of me wanting to write something else in the vein of "Under the Weather", but in reverse. Instead of Killian being sick, it is Emma who isn't well/hurt and has to allow someone to take care of her instead of being so tough. I'm still debating what I think of it. For some reason I keep worrying it's too much/overdramatic/out of character for Emma, but it has grown beyond my original length and plot, so hopefully you will have plenty to enjoy – probably about 3 chapters! It's set some time in the future when all of the main inhabitants of Storybrooke have chosen to return to their home realm for good. Please take a moment to let me know what you think. And of course, I don't own them in any way, shape, or form._

"Allowing Weakness"

_Chapter One_

It had begun so gradually that Emma could not pinpoint a cause, nor was she really aware of the pain before it was fully and overwhelmingly upon her. She had woken with a headache once again, in the tower room of Snow and Charming's castle which she had chosen for herself upon their permanent return to the Enchanted Forest, but that was not necessarily a cause for alarm. Though they had managed not to anger or awaken some new evil villain for some months now, and she was finally settling in and learning to enjoy the fact that she now had a home and family, there were still several stressors on Emma's plate to cause an aching head now and again.

She had chalked many of the headaches she was experiencing up to the fact that once the coffee and hot chocolate they had been able to pack and carry back with them had been depleted, coffee did not exist in her birth realm, and she was going through major caffeine withdrawal. On top of that, she had been helping rebuild her parents' castle and kingdom, making sure the ogres in the region were truly gone and helping to drive out those that weren't, and figuring out how to peacefully share Henry with Regina on a fair and balanced schedule. The formerly Evil Queen had mostly forgiven Emma for her mistake with Maid Marian – largely because Robin had chosen Regina in the end – but things could still be tense between two strong-willed women who both loved one young man more than life itself and often disagreed with each other's methods. Emma was mostly grateful that the other woman hadn't crushed her heart or turned her into a toad, and she was certainly willing to be grateful for small favors. Still, it was hard to let her son go for a week at a time to the neighboring castle to stay with his adoptive mother.

More than all of these though, Emma missed her pirate. They had been back in their rightful kingdom for no more than a month when word had come that King Midas hoped to open peaceful trade routes by sea between their two kingdoms and to reaffirm the alliance that Charming and Abigail's marriage would have once insured. Emma's father had jumped at the chance to mend one of the injuries done by his falling in love with Snow and abandoning his agreement. Likewise, Killian had been both honored and thrilled when Charming had named him Captain of his newly formed Navy and appointed his daughter's consort head of the fleet he sent to determine the routes and regulations with Midas' sailors.

Emma hadn't wanted to keep Killian from something he loved, something that would give him legitimate purpose and standing in what was to be their permanent home. But she also had not figured on him being gone so long – or on just how much she would miss his constant presence at her side. Apparently, the waterways were not as well-charted as they had hoped, and more time and exploration had been needed. Killian wrote her as often as possible, and she responded in kind; her mother's chosen messenger birds making it a decently prompt means of communication.

However, at night when she laid down a body aching from trudging miles through forests scouting for danger, hauling materials for building with the dwarves, or from the battering of further magic lessons with either Regina or Rumple, she wished for Killian's warmth at her back and his lean, muscled arms to gather her close. When she woke each morning to the sunlight illuminating a room it still took her time to recognize, in a realm that might always seem strange to her, Emma couldn't help wishing to turn and bury her face in his chest, anchoring her to something loved and familiar.

Upon dragging herself from bed that morning, a worse reaction than usual had occurred, as she had literally been forced to sprint for the chamber pot, barely reaching it in time to empty the contents of her rolling stomach. Emma knew that if she were less stubborn and spoke to her mother or Dr. Whale about the nausea and the pounding that seemed to have localized itself in her right temple, they might know how to ease the pain at least partially, or would convince her to take the day off from whatever task she had set for herself. But pride, embarrassment, and toughened self-reliance kept combining to keep her silence. Her mother would only worry, and she felt that no one ought to blame her for not wanting Dr. Frankenstein poking around on her head. Instead, she had gritted her teeth, dressed, foregone breakfast, told both Snow and Ruby that she was taking an early morning walk, and left the palace grounds while the grass was still dewy and the morning air cool and mild.

Picking her way gingerly in flat slippers over the slick blades of grass, her stomach still unsettled and her head alternating between feeling abnormally heavy and then light, Emma wondered if she were even keeping to a straight path forward as she walked. Glancing over her shoulder back at the castle, she hoped that no one had decided to watch after her as she went. It was only now as she got going that she realized where she wanted to be. Across a few fields, there were some high bluffs looking out over the docks used by ships of her parents' fleet, and beyond those docks, the sea. She sat there for some time almost every evening, though she hoped no one else knew. For someone who until now had always been able to convince herself that she needed no one, it seemed almost pathetically dependent, but she did it to look out over the water, hoping to see the sails of Killian's ship returning in the distance. Emma had told him in her letters of course, no longer wanting him to wonder if she cared for him as much as he did her; she had already put him through that for too long. Anyone else aware of her ritual, however, would have had to figure it out on their own.

When Emma reached her usual vantage point, she breathed a sigh of relief, more than the simple accomplishment truly warranted. She put out a hand to steady herself against the lone tree she often sat under, enjoying its shade and silent company. Her other hand came up to tentatively knead at her forehead; eyes squinted closed as she drew in a deep, calming breath. The pounding seemed to have doubled with the small bit of exercise, which puzzled her. Usually when she gave herself a few moments of peace and quiet alone, the headaches would somewhat ease. _'I must have been so much worse a coffee addict than I realized,' _ she thought to herself, almost doubling over and thanking her lucky stars she had opted against breakfast as her stomach gave another violent lurch. _'This needs to pass already. It's getting ridiculous,' _her mental rant continued.

She was torn between trying to ease herself down to sit and catch her breath, or starting back to the castle and finally seeking someone's advice, when her gaze skirted back out over the water. Some time while she had been distracted by her symptoms, a ship had appeared on the horizon, cutting though the waves at a brisk, steady clip and drawing ever closer to their port.

Emma's breath caught in excitement, for a moment even allowing her to almost forget the pain in her head, as she stepped closer to the edge of the bluffs, body straining forward in an attempt to discern any significant details of the vessel. She had to squint and refocus several times; the view before her eyes seeming to flicker fitfully in and out of focus. Finally, to her delight, she could just make out the graceful swan figurehead that identified Killian's new ship entering the harbor, and her heart actually leapt in her chest. She let herself savor feeling lighter than she had in weeks and could not help whispering to herself happily, "He's back!"

Unfortunately, her relief and anticipation as she gathered her strength to turn from her viewpoint and make her way down to the wharf to greet him, almost blocked out the way her vision was still wavering and how she listed unsteadily on her feet. It was only when she lurched to the left, nearly falling to her knees, that Emma registered just how dizzy she had become. She overcorrected in an effort to right herself and found her body leaning back precariously over the edge of the embankment. Her arms flailed desperately seeking something within reach to grasp onto. Her feet scrabbled frantically for purchase, but instead of regaining her balance, the ground seemed to give way beneath her. As she tried to twist and throw herself forward to solid ground again, pain almost equal to what had been hammering through her skull lanced through her ankle. Her frenzied struggle was all for naught. Flashes of light danced before her eyes for several oddly suspended moments as Emma felt her body began to drop. She tumbled helplessly down the slope, and everything faded to darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you so much to those who have already been reading and reviewing this one! It means a lot to me that you like it so far, and don't seem to be finding Emma too out of character. This chapter should alleviate some of the tension; though there may still be a few questions, but it won't leave you hanging as badly as Chapter One did._

_And now, one with the story!_

"Allowing Weakness"

Chapter Two

Emma came to with a warm, beloved hand brushing over her forehead and then cupping her cheek, and a solid arm wrapping around her shoulders, half-lifting her torso with gentle care. Sound filtered in foggily, as if through a long tunnel filled with cotton padding, but his rich, accented voice was tight with fear as he called to her, "Emma! Emma, love! Can you hear me?!" For his sake, she needed to answer him.

She tried to blink, hoping to take her first clear look at Killian in months. But when she attempted to fully open her eyes, and then speak to him, all that she managed was a choked noise – a scream in her head at the pounding and agony rushing back into her consciousness as soon as the light greeted her. Screwing her eyes shut again and writhing away from the light only succeeded in rolling her body against the barrier of Killian's legs, since he had obviously fallen to his knees beside her. Emma realized she must have made some sound to alarm him further, because his initial reluctance to move her seemed to be overcome, and then he was standing with her gathered close to his chest.

Wanting to tell him how much she had missed him, how glad she was that he had returned, and for him not to worry, she was okay, Emma tried again to gather her wits to speak. However, after a few vague, mumbling attempts that she was pretty sure had come out as gibberish, she gave up, closing her eyes, burrowing into his tight hold, and concentrating desperately on biting back the nausea that had returned full force. She did _not _want to welcome her pirate back by being violently ill all over his delicious, nearly bare chest. She tried to reach out a hand to touch him, but felt oddly uncoordinated, her arm falling limp again before she accomplished her goal.

Other voices intruded into the periphery as she felt the odd sensation that Killian was bringing her up some sort of embankment. She heard her father, Leroy, Ruby, and Whale, though beyond them, she couldn't sort out anyone else specifically. She wanted to ask Killian why they were climbing, but then felt almost certain she remembered falling, so she didn't attempt the question. Being this disoriented honestly scared her, and she finally got enough control of her limbs to clutch at her pirate's braced forearm blindly, holding on and then fisting his shirt in her other hand, clinging to his solid form for dear life.

Emma hated the weak helplessness she was feeling, and must have whimpered out loud. Killian seemed to come to a stop on level ground just then and drew her closer yet in his arms, dropping a feather-light kiss to the crown of her head. "You're safe, Darling," he almost crooned, belying the tremors she felt running through him, fear for her clear in every line of his bearing. Nevertheless, he was reassuring her as he spoke. "Everything will be alright. I've got you."

Too much sensation was fast engulfing her again: pain, relief at his return and being back in his embrace, fear, and frustration, all lapped at her in equal measure. She wanted to open her eyes and drink him in. She wanted to ask what had happened and explain what she was feeling now. Yet, every time she tried to look around and focus on anything, her vision started flickering or blacking out in patches. It was steadily becoming too much already when one of those who were crowded around them, trying to help Killian get her home and see if she was okay, jostled her ankle. She let out a keening cry that set her own nerves on edge. Cringing, Emma tried to turn even more fully into Killian's body for refuge.

"Bloody hell!" he swore, his grip tightening on her reflexively. She could sense even without being able to see, that he was clenching his jaw angrily, and if her body would have obeyed, she would have laughed at his blatant and endearing protectiveness. Practically growling out orders now, Emma felt Killian's voice rumbling from deep in his chest, "Get my horse, _Dave_. Everyone needs to back off, and we need to get her to the castle _now."_

Emma felt someone else hold her for a second, knowing Killian must have been swinging himself up into the saddle, then she was lifted back into his grasp. "Now, let us through," Killian's voice gritted out again. "And, Doctor, you had better be right on our heels!" Killian's commanding tone sent a shiver through her, even as muddled as her awareness was, but Emma couldn't help thinking that if her father were not surely as worried as her pirate, usurping Charming's command like that might have gotten Killian in trouble.

That worry for him was quickly interrupted when it suddenly felt as if they were flying. Braced up against his long, lean body from shoulder to waist, Killian held her to him firmly with his hook arm, as she rode before him in the saddle. Emma was really doing nothing at all to stay seated or hold herself upright, but at this point, she was floating almost beyond her senses. All she knew what that he was so warm and close and comfortingly secure, and this might well be Heaven if she weren't too out of her head to enjoy it properly.

They came to a stop in the courtyard, Killian leapt to the ground and caught her expertly as she slumped over and into his arms again. She heard her mother's voice, Snow's usually calm, sweet speech wavering with emotion. "Killian, what happened to her?! Emma, sweetie, can you hear me?"

Killian was moving again, and Emma tried to answer Snow, to say that she could hear her, not to worry, but again the maddening disconnect between her brain and every other part of her seemed to put a response beyond her abilities.

"Here, Killian, bring her through here," Emma heard Snow say worriedly. There was some shuffling and the sound of an opened door, then an added, "Here Viktor, this way! Won't the infirmary be best?"

When they finally came to a stop again, Emma felt Killian shift her carefully in his arms and then ease her onto an unfamiliar bed. She wanted to beg him not to leave again, and was actually glad not to be speaking sensibly so it couldn't escape her lips. Gratefully, she registered only a second later that he wasn't gone; he had merely shifted to stand at the head of the bed to make room for the doctor to examine her. His good hand brushed back sweaty, matted strands of hair from her flushed face, and she bit her lip not to let tears escape at the tenderness of the concerned gesture.

"Emma," Whale's voice asked quietly with forced calm, "can you open your eyes for us, just for a moment?"

She made herself do as requested, trying not to flinch back too much when the light still pained her. She heard both Snow and Killian wince in sympathy, but put most of her energy into keeping her eyes open for Whale's examination. "I'm assuming you're experiencing acute light sensitivity, as dilated as your pupils appear," he said, not looking surprised at all when Emma gave a tiny nod of assent. "Your eyes are unfocused and show difficulty even tracking movement. How does you vision seem?"

Emma had to swallow a few times in order to speak, and even then, her tongue felt heavy, each word coming sluggishly and with supreme effort. "There was flickering and some flashing light in my view, my head felt light, then heavy, and I was dizzy right before I…fell?" she ended her statement uncertainly, still trying to grasp just what had happened.

"Aye, Love," Killian supplied, sensing that she needed some of the gaps filled to gain her bearings once more. "I wasn't there, but it would seem you went to the bluffs overlooking the harbor, to the vantage point you told me of in your letters. I can only surmise that when the dizziness struck you, you tumbled over the edge. When I reached home after we put into port, they told me you had gone for a walk. I guessed you might go to the place you had spoken of, and I did not wish to wait to see you. When I got there, however…" He swallowed hard and looked away, composing himself before he could continue. "…You were lying at the bottom of the hill…not moving." Emma felt she would be forever indebted to her mother when Snow reached over to squeeze Killian's hand comfortingly, since Emma's hand still refused to move as she wished. "For a moment, I thought you were dead," he finally forced out. "My heart nigh ceased beating."

Whale's brow was knit in serious thought as he took in everything being said, and Emma got the distinct impression that he had at least a theory. "Emma, has this dizziness ever struck you before?" he questioned.

Emma swallowed, realizing that they were all about to learn what she had been keeping from them. "Never that strongly," she said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

"Have you been nauseous at all?"

She sighed, frightened enough by the whole thing now to get it all out in the open, even if they were hurt or upset that she had kept quiet. "Yes, occasionally. I – I threw up this morning when I first woke."

"Headaches?" he questioned, tone saying he already knew the answer.

Emma bit her lip, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes now, the flagging adrenaline and fear, along with relief at being found and alive, and the pain still coursing through her, all coming down on her at once. She nodded before finally giving the whole truth, "Yeah, pretty constantly for about two weeks now. The past three or four days have been worse though. There was pounding in my right temple, and the pain almost seemed to bring the nausea at times. I mostly just thought I was having caffeine withdrawal, or that I had worked too hard some days, or I was stressed about the ogres returning, or I'd hurt myself in my magic lessons, or I missed Killian and Henry. I didn't think it was anything to worry anyone else over. I was so sure it would get better soon…" she trailed off, feeling idiotic and knowing her explanation sounded ridiculous.

"Emma! You've been in pain for weeks?!" her mother exclaimed with dismay.

At the same time, Killian bent to kiss her brow delicately, murmuring, "Love, what were you thinking?" His voice sounded so husky and aching. The fingers of his good hand began to sift awkwardly from the crown of her head back through her long hair, and Emma found it oddly soothing, even though she still felt guilty for how she had scared him and everyone else.

"Okay, Emma," Whale spoke again. "I'm almost finished, and then I'll let you rest, which is the best thing for you at the moment, if my suspicions are correct. Do you hurt anywhere else?"

"My ankle," she offered sheepishly. "When I lost my balance and was trying to get my footing again, I may have twisted it…I'm not sure."

"We'll look at that too. Don't worry. I'm going to have Captain Jones or your mother wake you up every couple of hours to make sure you didn't sustain concussion from your fall, but I can explain everything else once you've rested and feel better, alright?"

Emma wanted to resist, to fight, to tell them not to treat her like an invalid, but she already felt her eyelids growing heavy. She had been fighting whatever was wrong with her for so long alone, she didn't have the energy to argue and make him tell her everything right then. Hating that she felt so powerless, she wanted to escape the situation completely, even if sleep was the only way to manage that.

"Killian?" she whispered uncertainly, looking to him and relaxing a bit when his face swam into view.

" 'S alright, Lass. Listen to the doctor," he soothed. "I'm right here."

She managed to slightly return his gentle pressure on her hand and finally stopped struggling against her own body, drifting off into sleep once more.


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, so this took a few days longer than intended, but I hope that those of you who have been reading this will enjoy the conclusion, and that maybe a few newcomers will read it as well. Hope I have lived up to expectations and that you'll take a second to leave some feedback on what you thought. I still don't own them, or the show, I'm only trying to fill the time until it returns for Season 4 and we can see what Emma and Killian have really been up to!_

"_Allowing Weakness"_

Chapter Three

As it turned out, Emma didn't remember any of the numerous times she was poked at and prodded awake all through the rest of that day and night. Killian would tease her later that she had grumbled peevishly at each of their interruptions to her slumber, but it was all lost to Emma's memory. Sometimes it was Killian studying her eyes and gazing back at her with love and concern, sometimes it was Snow, and a few times toward morning it was David. He was the one who greeted her with a relieved, easy smile when she woke at last to a brilliant sunrise.

"Hey there," her father whispered, moving to help Emma half-sit and hand her a glass of water nearby, as if knowing she would be desperately thirsty. "Welcome back to the land of the living."

"How long was I out?" she mumbled, glad to find that her words came more clearly and she no longer felt so mush-mouthed. There was still a dull ache in her head, and she could see that her ankle was elevated, but the pounding in her temple had ceased and she could keep her eyes open without shying away from the light, which she'd count as a win.

"About 18 hours now," David supplied, "you lazy bones." He added the last bit playfully, knowing she would start beating herself up for sleeping so long if he didn't make light of it.

She tried a tentative grin at her father, which he returned before leaning forward to prop her sitting position up more securely against several pillows – once again almost reading her mind, realizing that she'd want some sense of control and functionality back instead of remaining prone and vulnerable. "Thanks," Emma mumbled, not sure what else to say in light of his quiet understanding. "Where…?" she started to ask after a pause, before David simply nodded to the chair behind him where Killian was sprawled, asleep sitting up, his arm outstretched as if still intending to hold her hand.

Affection and gratitude swelled within her for this man who loved her so much it hardly seemed real. "Has he been like that long?" she whispered, hand reaching out to brush a lock of his jet hair off his forehead. "It can't be comfortable."

"Must not be too bad," David commented, shrugging noncommittally. "He hasn't moved since I took over concussion duty at 2 a.m."

At that precise moment, Killian's mouth fell open and a light little snore escaped as if to corroborate David's words. Father and daughter both had all they could do for a moment managing not to laugh out loud and wake him.

When they had regained their composure, Emma asked the question still weighing on her mind. "Did Whale tell you what's wrong with me?" she asked. "Is it going to be okay?"

David reached out to take her hand, making sure she met his eyes. "Yes, he did. And you're going to be fine. But it wouldn't have gotten so bad if you hadn't ignored it. If you had told us sooner and let someone help you. Not to mention that you wouldn't have the sprained ankle you 'll have to deal with now." He gestured to it knowingly, already sure that his daughter would be as impatient with the healing process as he had always been when injured.

Emma sighed in resignation, having a hard time meeting her father's mostly concerned and sympathetic, but also a bit remonstrative, gaze. She knew he was right, and also that she would probably be having this conversation several more times with different people. She didn't really have a good answer, merely saying, "I know you're right," mutedly.

Back in Storybrooke, when he had been her sheriff's deputy, Emma wouldn't have hesitated to shrug him off or ignore David's disappointment in her, but now looking at the dismay of the Crown Prince, whom she had finally accepted as her loving father, she was truly ashamed that she had been so stubborn. She _should _ have trusted them to help her all they could, or at least let them feel she would confide in them. They were still adjusting to being her parents and mourning the fact that she had grown up without them, and now, when they had found her again, she didn't seem to need them. She winced internally, seeing that she had only reinforced that ache for her parents with her independent desire to keep her problems to herself. It was hard though. She'd only had herself to depend on for so long…

Glancing over at Killian's face slack with unconscious exhaustion, she couldn't help the rush of love that swept over her. At that moment, she had to believe that if Killian had been there, she would have turned to him with her confession. Somewhere along the line, in his relentless pursuit of her heart, he truly had broken down all the walls between them. Unlike everyone else, she no longer doubted his commitment and his love. She didn't fear that Killian would someday change his mind about her, lose interest, or pack up and leave. For the first time in Emma's life, someone had proved his loved to her, and that he would continue to follow through instead of taking it back, failing or abandoning her once the going grew difficult.

David's presence had almost slipped her mind in the thoughts of her pirate, so he startled Emma when he leaned closer and took her hand gently. "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I just hate that you were alone in your worry, and in pain longer than you needed to be because you didn't let us in."

Emma blinked back the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes as she looked from the sight of her love sleeping off his exhaustion peacefully and the anxious, caring gaze of her father. "You'd think I would finally learn that I can't keep trying to go it alone, huh?" she smirked wryly, shaking her head slightly in disbelief at her own blindness.

"I wish you would," her father agreed gently, smoothing her hair back off her forehead. "You _aren't_ alone anymore. We're a family, which means we're here for each other. That's how it works."

Their hands were clasped for a moment longer, the pressure between father and daughter's enjoined fingers warm and comforting. Emma accepted that he was right, and nodded curtly without further words, having admitted to herself as soon as she had regained consciousness that her silence had been wrong and done unnecessary harm to herself and those she loved.

The moment was broken with gentle humor when Snow bustled into the room with a cheery 'good morning' and carrying a breakfast tray. At the noise, Killian suddenly let out an undignified snort, waking himself abruptly and snapping straight up with a start. Emma's eyes immediately flew to meet his, locking on and drinking in the sight of his rumpled dark hair sticking up at odd angles and startlingly blue eyes staring astounded at her.

"Emma, you're awake," he breathed out happily, his voice full of emotion and pleased surprise. "Love, it is so good to see you." He was up and across the room at her other side, leaning over to kiss her forehead gently in seconds. Normally, he would have been a bit more reserved with his displays of affection before either of Emma's royal parents, but at that moment, he was too relieved to put off touching her in at least some small way and reassuring himself that she was coherent – her eyes much clearer and less confused than they had been before. From smoothing her silky, golden hair to tracing the side of her brow, Killian's good hand didn't stop taking careful stock of her face until he softly stroked down along her cheek where it came to rest. "Lass, you gave us all quite a turn," he finally managed. "Please never do something like that again."

Emma leaned her face into his touch, enjoying the caress and the honest emotion that radiated from it, from him. She let her eyes drift closed for just a moment, savoring both the comfort in his touch and his presence there with her again. She drew in a gentle sigh before opening her eyes to look at him once more, true regret in the words she knew she would still be offering several more times yet. "I'm sorry I scared you. It makes no sense now why I didn't let someone try to help me. Accept my apology, and I'll promise to do better?" she asked hopefully.

"You know that I will, Darling," he murmured, thumb tracing over her lower lip as her head tilted up to look deep into his eyes. As was often the case, his voice and his softest touch seemed to entrance her in Killian's own brand of magic, making everyone else in the room disappear, until David cleared his throat obviously and Killian pulled back quickly. His eyes were still on hers though as he finished speaking. "I only want you to be happy and well, Love."

"I know," Emma whispered, lowering her gaze once more, ashamed of herself, but vowing then and there to change. They all only wanted what was best for her – Killian, her parents, her other friends who loved her – and she was going to have to let them in, fully and without reservation.

She looked up to her mother gratefully when Snow broke the awkward silence by setting the breakfast tray where it would stand on its own over Emma's lap. "Start with the tea," she advised gently. "Viktor found a root that when mixed into a tincture can help relax the blood vessels, including the ones in your head that are constricted and causing the pain."

Emma nodded, taking a timid sip and making a face at the bitter flavor, but continuing to do as her mother said.

"I wasn't sure if you would still be queasy or not," Snow carried on, "so I only brought some toast and a fresh peach. But if you're still hungry, there's some bacon and eggs down in the kitchens…" Her mother trailed off there, catching herself beginning a nervous ramble.

Emma reached out to take Snow's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "This is perfect…_Mom,_" she said deliberately, joy fluttering in her chest at the way the title lit up Snow's entire face. "Thank you."

Everyone was quiet as she ate. Emma was dying to ask several questions about what Dr. Whale had told them, but she knew that in their concern and desire to help, no one was going to distract her until she was finished with her meal. Until they were certain she had gotten some nourishment and wasn't in any pain, they weren't going to start in, and so Emma tried to be patient.

When she had finished, Snow took the tray back, lightly brushing a hand down her daughter's arm and placing a kiss to her cheek. "I'm glad you're back with us, Emma," she said kindly. "As much as I want to watch you like a hawk, I'm going to give you and Killian a minute or two alone. Come on, Charming," she added commandingly when her husband didn't immediately move to follow her. Emma and Killian couldn't hide their amusement when Snow's order seemed to snap him into action, and he hurried from the room on his wife's heels.

Turning to look at Killian fully, Emma found she wanted to memorize every detail of his beloved face over again, now that there was nothing and no one else to pay attention to. Those eyes blue and deep enough to swim in, the faded, rakish scar beneath the right one, his dark, heavy brows, the fringe of black hair falling across his forehead, the strong chin…she loved every one of his distinctive features. They seemed so perfect to her in that moment, it was as though a master artist had sculpted him for her to gaze on. Emma reached out to follow the line of his profile, but Killian caught her hand tightly, clenching it to his chest.

"What if I hadn't found you, Emma? What if that fall had killed you? … What if you were not alright?" He drew in a breath that hitched suspiciously like a swallowed sob, forcing a similar reaction from her. "I could not survive your loss, Darling," he continued, voice broken but passionate. "The loss of my first love twisted and changed me. I lost myself for so many years, but I survived. I kept breathing. You, Emma, are my True Love…why I was allowed to live so long…why I could not die when Milah did. If you leave me now, it will be the end of me." Killian choked on those last words, bowing his head to hide the desperation in his eyes and the tears that were escaping beyond his control.

In that moment, Emma wanted nothing more than to make it better, to soothe this hurt she had unwittingly caused him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer until she could cradle his head against her chest, rocking slightly and murmuring repeated words over and over as a mantra. "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. You won't lose me." Eventually, she felt the tension in him ease and he pulled away a bit to gaze at her.

"Better?" she questioned hopefully, studying his expression.

"Aye, Love, much," he responded, and it seemed to be so. The devilish twinkle was back in his face as his mouth quirked up in the roguish smirk she secretly adored. She beamed, glad to see him recovering his composure and putting the fear of her experience behind him. "You see, burying my head in your delightful bosom is not at all a bad way to distract and cheer a man up."

Emma blushed scarlet at his words, reaching out to smack his shoulder, but finding her hand arrested by his grip around her wrist. "None of that, Sailor," she retorted, though she couldn't fight the stirrings within that she outwardly covered. "If everything's fine between us now, why don't you tell me what was causing the headaches? Am I going to be alright?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, as if to let her know he was aware of how he had affected her. Still, he let it slide, kissing the back of the hand he held captive before letting it come to rest between them on the mattress. He stroked her wrist as he began to speak, as if comforting himself with the feel of her steady pulse, even though both his tone and the atmosphere between them were much lighter.

"You have what they refer to as migraines – severe headaches that tend to center on one side of the head. They can often be so painful as to induce nausea and vomiting, as you well know, and can also cause the changes in vision you described. Apparently, it is unclear what causes these migraines, but emotional turmoil seems to be a common factor. Some, Dr. Whale included, believe that they are due to a constriction of cerebral arteries, hence the tea with the muscle stimulant, to loosen those arteries. Unfortunately, not much else is known of for their treatment. One must rest, take it slowly, and try to ease what is troubling him or her. None of which you were doing, Darling. Instead of running their course, your migraines were growing worse and worse."

"So…there's no cure?" Emma asked, taking in all of the information and again cursing her own stubbornness. "I'll keep having them? Why hadn't I had them before now?"

Killian shrugged sadly, allowing the pad of his thumb to rub back and forth over her forehead, easing out the worry lines that had formed there. "No one seems to know what exactly causes migraine onset," he said softly, sounding as though he were trying to repeat what he had been told word for word. "There isn't a cure, so the headaches will probably return. However, now that we know what is happening, you will be able to handle them better and we will be able to help you."

She nodded, calm returning to her at his assurance.

"As for your ankle, you sprained it twisting and trying to stay atop the bluff. The joint was stretched, and my guess is that it's a lovely black and blue beneath those bandages as well." He tapped her nose affectionately, the jesting smile affecting his whole aspect and making her smile right along with him. "Sprains are something I am quite familiar with," he added. "The deck of a ship can be dangerous when wet from waves crashing over the side while pitching and rolling in a storm. Less surefooted crew members suffered such injuries many times on the Roger. If you keep it elevated and stay off it for a time, that ankle will be right as rain."

"Thank you again, Killian," she responded, glad not just for the information, but for his acceptance, his support, and his company now. She knew she would already be bored and fidgety at the prospect of staying in bed and off her feet for some time if it were not for the man at her side. He was always at her side. So much so that she had come to need him there – more than it would have ever been possible for her to need anyone before.

"Enough about me," she finally said, wishing to hear about him, to encourage him, as he had done for her. "How did you mission turn out?"

"Very well," he replied, warmth for her in his stare. "We established the trade routes without disagreement or rancor – a feat I was most impressed by, I must say. The mapping of them was what took so long…" he sighed, running a hand through his own hair distractedly. "I just cannot help but think…if I had not been gone so long…if I had been here sooner…"

Emma shook her head, pulling him near until their foreheads touched. "No, Killian, don't even think that. This was my fault, not yours. You're here now, and I'm so glad you are." She scooted as far to one side as the bed would allow, pulling him after her. "Come on, Captain," she added playfully.

"Emma, Love, I –"

"Just get up here, Killian," she nearly ordered, touched that he was still worried about her, thinking of her well-being, even when she knew he needed to hold her as much as she needed him to do so.

Carefully, he clambered up onto the narrow bed with her, settling himself on his side and then pulling her into the cradle of his body as well as he could without disturbing her ankle. "Aye, Lass, this _was _a good idea," he chuckled huskily, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger, hooked arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her even closer. His chin came to rest on her shoulder, scruffy cheek tickling her neck as his warm breath caressed her ear. "My Love, I have you. I will not let you go…no matter what…as long as you do not leave me in the dark."

Emma swallowed hard, knowing he meant not just in the dark of unawareness, but the darkness he had wandered in for centuries before, that he feared descending into again if they were ever separated, lost to each other. She grasped his larger, calloused hand in hers, tracing her fingers over the old tattoo on his forearm in a way that she could feel made him shiver. She didn't have the way with words that he did. Instead, she brought their joined hands up to her mouth to kiss the back of his and fervently swear a simple vow against his skin. "Never, Killian. I never will."

They both relaxed, peace descending in their shared embrace. When the Prince and Princess came back later to check on them, they found their daughter and her pirate fast asleep in the safe harbor of each other's arms.


End file.
